@@@@@ Acme Iced Tea Company, I thought, still
@@@@@
Acme Iced Tea Company, I thought, still stuck on
those old Road Runner cartoonsMeep-meep! And
218
that, of course, made me think of the crane that
had done the damage, the one with the fucked-up
beeper that hadn't beeped, and all at once I saw
myself as Wile ECoyote in the cab of my
disintegrating pickup truck, eyes bugged in
bewilderment, frazzled ears sticking off in two
opposite directions and maybe smoking a little at
the tipsI laughed until I rolled bonelessly
out of my own chair and plopped onto the sand
beside Wiremanbut I also missed the glass,
which still stood perfectly upright like a
cigarette-butt in an urn of sandIt was
impossible for me to laugh any harder, but I did
Tears gushed down my cheeks and the world had
begun to dim out as my brain went into oxygendeprivation
mode
Wireman, still howling, went crawling after his
runaway table, locomoting on knees and elbowsHe
made a grab for the base and it skittered away as
if sensing his approachWireman plowed face-first
into the sand and came up laughing and sneezingI
rolled over on my back and gasped for breath, on
the verge of passing out but still laughing
219
That was how I met Wireman
iii
Twenty minutes later the table had been placed in
a rough approximation of its original position
That was all very well, but neither of us could
look at the umbrella without breaking into fits of
the gigglesOne of its pie-wedges was torn, and
it now rose crookedly from the table, giving it
the look of a drunken man trying to pretend he's
soberWireman had moved the remaining chair down
to the end of the wooden walk, and had taken it at
my insistenceI was sitting on the walk itself,
which, although backless, would make getting up an
easier (not to mention more dignified) proposition
Wireman had offered to replace the spilled pitcher
of iced tea with a fresh oneI refused this, but
agreed to split the miraculously unspilled glass
with him
"Now we're water-brothers," he said when it was
gone
"Is that some Indian ritual?" I asked
220
"Nope, from Stranger in a Strange Land, by Robert
Heinlein
It occurred to me that I'd never seen him reading
as he sat in his striped chair, but I didn't
mention itLots of people don't read on the beach;
the glare gives them headachesI sympathized with
people who got heada